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I AM SMILEY
STORY BY YEMISI ODERINLO
04:02:2010. 12:43 p.m.

THURSDAY
9.55 p.m. Suddenly, my phone beams up. I pick up the phone lying somewhere on my bed.
Pimp! Oh my God!
Mimi dearie, you go ahead and sleep. I will join you later.
I am really worked up. i don’t know how you Lagosians cope, your transportation system creeps.
I know Smiley says, patting her back, some guy wants to talk to me on my cell.
Mimi yawns. Ok, goodnight.
Pimps’ message is still flashing on my mobile phone:

Buzz Smiley
What have you been up to?
Pimp

Buzz Pimp
Was about to retire for the night after gisting with friend all day. Seems a relative abroad decided to send her some goodies and she is in town to pick it up. She has been showing off all the things her aunt sent her from London. I am almost green with envy. How did you spend your day?
Smiley

I need to lift my spirit and resist the temptation to beg dear friend for some of goodies… 10 p.m. - 11 p.m.-12 a.m.

FRIDAY
12. a.m. Mimi stirs up in bed, on opening her eyes she is surprised that her friend is still chatting.

Buzz Pimp
I will be waiting at the receiving end till you send the money.
Smiley

Buzz Smiley
I will make good my promise, don’t leave me hanging.
Pimp

Buzz Pimp
It’s a deal. Signing out
Smiley

Aren’t you coming to bed? Mimi asks.
He wants us to meet over the weekend, she whispers to Mimi.
Who? She ask in confusion

Buzz Smiley
Alrighty.
Pimp

Smiley closes the dialogue box and crawls into bed beside her friend.
My Chat-pal of ‘cos, she replies
Which of them?
You know who, don’t act dumb. Anyways I said no. I told him I have not gone out on a date in a while which means all my cloths are out of date. Oh that he says recalling his reply. Taking the easy way out are we?
So you turned him down?
Hell no! She exclaims. Guess what?
I am not good at guessing.
He is sending me some money by morning. He says he wants me to be at my best.
Mimi seats up, how much did he say.
He didn't say, but it should be a substantial amount.
Uhm... Don’t you think he’s pulling your legs? I mean….
Two can play. I didn’t even ask you about Alex.
Alex and I are history. Please lets get some sleep.
Okay. Smiley pulls the plugs and the room goes dark.

11 a.m. Inside a boutique, Smiley and Mimi are checking out clothes. But actually Smiley is checking them out while Mimi just keeps following her around.
Mimi speaks up, are you thinking of pursuing something serious with this guy? I mean he just sent you twenty grand, what if he is serious? You are in relationship not minding the fact that he lives abroad?
Minding the fact that my boyfriend is based abroad; can’t I just have some fun?
But of course, you can. All I am trying to say is be careful.
Girlfriend, live is too short to hold back. I think I may have found something. From here we will be heading to the beauty parlour. I think you should also make your hair.
Maybe, Mimi replies indifferently.
3 p.m. Smiley keep examining her artificial nails. Don’t you like their services here.
I must admit I am impressed. My nails are so perfectly fixed. When next I come round we will do this again.
When we are done here, we will go that super mart across the road, I want to pick up some cosmetics?
Girlfriend!
Don’t you ever wonder what we would be like if we were left to revert back to nature – bushy eyebrows, our faces a grave yard of dead skin cells, spots erupting, long curly finger nails like Struwelpeter, flabby body flapping around. Is it any wonder girls have no self confidence?
Mimi begins to laugh non-stop

7 p.m.
Smiley is showing Mimi around the store pointing out different things to her.
Have you ever tried this, the taste is divine, it feels great, I take this when I want to go to bed, it is the kind of thing you should put on your desk in the office and tongues will be wagging or use this freshener in your car, or burn that oil in the evenings or drink this first thing in the morning, you should try it.
Is there anything you have not tried out before? Mimi asks smiling.
I just like being comfortable, don’t you?
What you like my dear is luxury.
Smiley simply shrugs off her comment and continues her charade. I am gonna pick this and that.
I hope you'll have enough money to pay when you are done.
Smiley stalks off, towards the cashier.

11 p.m. they are back home and both of them are lying in bed.
I don’t understand why he hasn’t buzzed me yet. Maybe he has changed his mind.
I thought you guys agreed on where and when to meet.
He was supposed to buzz me and tell me. If he does not buzz, the deal is off.
That was a joke right?
You know what I will buzz him
Mimi exclaims! No you should not. You will appear a little too eager?
Fine, she drops the phone in frustration.
I will be leaving tomorrow.
Why are you bored here.
It’s not that, your date could take the whole day, apparently I shall be sitting around the house?
In that case we will leave the house together tomorrow
Smiley picks up her phone and logs into her buzzer, she is surprise on discovering that Pimp had left an offline message for her. She reads out the message
Buzz Smiley
‘Lets meet at Church junction tomorrow, I will pick you up at 12 noon in my car. Pls. be there looking forward to our meeting’.
Pimp
Church junction, that’s is opposite the fast food outlet
Yes!
Can we sleep now?
Sure, Smiley pulls the plug.

SATURDAY
9 a.m. Mimi opens the door and walks into the room. She's already dressed and her travel bag and all her stuffs have been carefully placed by the door. Smiley is still sleeping. She sits by the edge of the bed and taps her.
Wake up sleepy head?
She opens her eyes surprise that the day has already broken. What time is it?
Its a few minutes past 9, and I woke you up so you can start preparing.
Preparing for what? She asks yarning.
You have a date have you forgotten?
I have a bad feeling. I had a bad dream and that guy was in it. I was locked up and he wouldn’t let me out. I kept shouting and begging him to and he was like it’s just the two of us in this whole building and you can shout from now till thy kingdom come, no one will hear you.
You made this up right?
Why will I make something like that up?
So you are not going on the date?
Hell no? What if he turns out to be a ritual killer or something? I should not have let it go this far in the first place. I am sure; the fact that TK is abroad is beginning to get to me.
You didn’t want it to go this far, yet you took money from him.
Its just twenty grand, you are making it sound like he gave me a million. You don’t have to travel today anymore since I wouldn’t be going on this date.
I am packed already; anyways I was looking around to see if I could find something to eat.
I am not sure there is food in this house.
Actually I found something.
So you have cooked Smiley said beaming me up.
No I was about to start when it occurred to me that I should wake you up so you can start preparing while I am cooking. I had no idea you had changed your mind.
In that case let’s go and cook.

11.20 a.m. Smiley is waving Mimi off at the gate. She walks back into the house.
She returns to bed in a sulky mood. Sleeping or getting out of bed seems to be out of question, she continues staring at the ceiling. All of sudden she jumps out of bed, grabs her towel and rushes towards the bathroom.

11.30 a.m. Fully dressed she grabs her bag puts on her shoe in a rush and makes for the door but on reaching the door she sees her reflection in the mirror and reverses back. She manages to apply light make-up and rushes out clutching her bag.

12 noon. Mimi is waiting at church junction with all her luggage when a car pulls up. She approaches the car and the driver winds down.
I am Smiley, she says to him.
The driver winds down and she lets herself in

12.03 p.m. Smiley arrives on a bike in time to see Mimi side view as she gets into the car and the car zooms off. She blinks twice to be sure she saw correctly.
Without alighting from the bike she tells the rider to turn back. The rider hesitates,
Turn back; I say you are taking me back home. The rider was about to say something. I shall pay you.


8 p.m. Smiley is buzzing away on her phone when a buzz alert comes up. She goes through the message.
A buzz from pimp she says pouting. I am done with you.
However on opening the message, she was totally taken aback, she reads it out aloud

Buzz Smiley
You friend was a better catch. I dumped her like trash after ripping her off her cash, jewelries, swatch wristwatch and BB. What more can one ask for on a date? She was a great friend, she took your fall. If she manages to find her way back to your place, don’t turn your back on her.
Pimp.

She wouldn’t dare. Stupid bitch!

Buzz Pimp
Son of a bitch!
Smiley.

That was a close shave she says before stuffing some chocolate in her mouth and pulls the plug.